Love and Lies, Secrets and Betrayal
by Camaya-Degrassi fan
Summary: Maya Matlin is still in love with Cam even after he died, but she's dating Zig. When she has a secret that Zig can't know about, she realizes keeping the secret will be harder than she thought. Will Maya tries to avoid making Zig angry when she realizes she's not over her first love. But that's not the only secret she's kept from him. ADOPTED BY Maybell4everDegrassi.


**Maya's POV:**  
I can't believe Cam died even though he's been gone for a year. Luckily, I've had my friends help me out to get through it, especially Zig. But my heart still wants Cam.

I love him a lot and I always will. I remember everything, every memory, every feeling I had when Cam and I were together. Zig hasn't stopped liking me since I can remember.

In fact, he was so angry and jealous about the thought of Cam and I being together that he told Cam to stay out of my life forever. I found out the next morning about Cam's death. At first I was in denial. Then I knew he was gone. I could no longer deny it.

What Zig told Cam wasn't the only thing that lead to his death, even though that was the main reason in my opinion. Cam hated hockey. But Zig telling Cam to stay out of my life forever pushed Cam over the edge. I forgave Zig because he didn't know that my ex boyfriend would be dead by the next morning.

Cam and Zig mean everything to me. I still love Cam but I needed to get over him. Zig still wanted to be with me and I think I'm finally getting over Cam. But getting over Cam doesn't mean that I will forget him or replace him. I will never replace Cam with someone else. I was in love with him, he was my first love and he always will be no matter what.

I remember his smile, when he saw me. I remember how upset and hurt he was when I told him that I kissed Zig. I remember Cam's personality, his hair, his kisses. I remember his eyes I would get lost into every time I looked in them. I should have seen Zig's anger and jealousy and/or cam's depression. But I didn't.

Zig was angry and jealous when he saw Cam and I together. I can't believe believe I didn't see how depressed Cam was. I wasn't there for him to help him get better when he needed me the most. I should have been there for him. I love him.

Even though it's been a year I still love him. But he's gone and I'm dating Zig now. Even though I still miss Cam, I'm happy with Zig. I know Cam would want me to be happy, or try to be happy.

 **Maya's POV:**  
I remember when I realized I was in love with Zig.

 **Flashback:**  
I was talking to Grace and I told her that life feels pretty complicated.  
She asked me if I was totally in love with Novak.

I told her 'no. I don't. I mean Zig is amazing and I love him.' I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him when he looked at me, smiling and waving. That's when I realized I'm in love with Zig Novak.

I avoided him for awhile because I didn't want him to know that I'm in love with him. I stopped avoiding him when I knew that was impossible. He asked me out and I said yes.

 **Zig's POV:**  
After Cam's death, I felt like it was my fault he died but I knew that I had to be there for Maya. I've had a crush on her since I first met her. Then after that my crush turned on her turned into love. I was angry about her dating Cam and i was jealous of him because he was dating Maya at the time when I wanted to be with her. I said stuff to him I wish I never said.

Maya is my first priority. I love her so much. I just don't want anything bad to happen to her. I care about her a lot. She avoided me for a few weeks but I don't know why.

I walked out as the last bell rang and went out to the parking lot to meet Maya, so we could walk home together.  
While I waited I saw someone I never thought I would see again. Cam. He was standing about 20 feet away from me. I blinked and he was gone. It was just my imagination, I thought. I knew I should have told Maya but I didn't want to risk losing her to Cam.

She wouldn't believe me anyways. I decided to keep it to myself, at least for awhile. I didn't want to see Maya hurt again. She was so upset when he died that she had to go see a counselor. She said that thanks to me, she's finally getting past his death. I didn't want to see her go through that again. I really care about her. I'll tell her soon, I thought.

 **What do you think**


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